Last Friday
afternoon the bus dropped me off at my usual stop, three blocks away from my
house. It was ridiculously hot, and when it's hot no one in a very good mood,
especially old people. As I approached my place, the new neighbour was mowing
the lawn. That quickly stopped as I arrived on the scene. I thought this would
be a great chance to meet the new residents next door, but as I stood in front
of him, I knew he was not happy, because old people never are.
“Why don’t you get your lawn mown?”
the old man said.
“Maybe someday” I
shot back. It’s my property! Why should anyone be telling me how to take care
of it? It is so incredibly rude to tell someone they don’t take care of their
things properly.
“Maybe right now”
he said a little angrier this time. I was stunned at first. I stood there
cemented to the ground, waited a second or two; and then began to laugh. He couldn't possibly be serious, even the most stubborn of people wouldn't be this
rude, he must be joking I thought to myself. “NOW!!” he screamed. I soon
realised he was serious and as such I began to laugh even harder. He then hit
me in the mouth out of nowhere. Now I am not going to hit an elderly man, but I
am going to restrain him from harming me. I pushed him to the ground, rolled
him over on his stomach, and quickly put a knee onto his back. He twisted, he
turned, he yelled, he screamed, and he cursed. It took a lot to hold him down.
I am now a true believer in old man strength. I quickly assessed the situation;
I knew I couldn't just let him go, especially after he had been held down by a
person a foot and a half shorter than him. He wasn't going to just let it go.
He had too much pride for that, too much old man pride. So I knew I had to
quickly act. I dragged him to the nearby garden hose and wrapped his hands. I then
walked inside my house.
Inside the house I
told my room-mates about the situation. We all had a good laughed about. The two of them then went out and untied the
neighbour. Later that evening I went and
mowed the lawn… slowly, with a grin on my face.
That was a very interesting story that escalated very quickly. I did enjoy reading it to see how it would progress. Although it does not appear to be a true story your generalization of old people is opposite of mine.
ReplyDeleteMy generalization of old people is the opposite of yours, too... Although I think, with age, people tend to get more extreme, so minor grouchiness becomes major grouchiness, etc, etc...
ReplyDeleteI have to wonder how much hose you'd need to effectively tie someone up, though...